Monday, June 29, 2009

How I came to need the lapband...

Well Wednesday is the long pre-op testing day. I'm so nervous at times about the surgery and other times I don't think twice about it! Its probably how everyone feels before I'm sure.

It really has me thinking about why I am in this position in the first place. I totally eat way too much - we all know that :)

Here is the bigger deal: I am trying on a daily basis to figure out emotionally and mentally why I gained/maintained this weight. Unlike many other people I have read about I haven't been under 200 lbs since high school! I was able to lose and make a difference but then never followed through for some reason.

I know that being overweight is something deep inside of each fat person. I think over the past few years I've discovered my reason so being fat just makes it easier. I've been so incredibly lazy about dealing with issues whether good or bad. My weight being one of them. In the fall, when I lost the weight that I did I was looking SO much better and felt good then I hurt my back and fell off - no longer having the motivation to start again - so it was easier to just stop, shop and eat (my usual).

Although I've let my twenties go by as a fat girl, my thirties won't be the same! I'm putting my foot down and getting the help that I've needed for years now. I will get help emotionally, mentally & physically this time.

I'm so happy thinking of the future knowing I'm making the right decision for me and my family. I can't wait to...oh so much to share :)

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